Frustration with English language

I'm working in a Japanese organization. All staffs including the management are Japanese but we very frequently communicate with American or European counterparts and partners. We need to use English when communicating. It's unfair because English native speakers don't have to have trouble in using English, but it doesn't bother me too much. If they want me to speak English, I will do so. Speaking English is my generosity and mercy for someone who doesn't speak any other languages than English for some reason.

Some Japanese feel strong stress in using English and their English in many cases is not good enough. Therefore, they spend painful efforts in speaking a language which they are not familiar with and end up failing to make themselves understood. This causes extreme stress which makes them upset. Repeating such experiences again and again gradually leads to low self-esteem of them. They suffer from it because everybody wants to think he is a respectable person - especially when he is an adult. This frustration sometimes turns into hatred of English language, English native speakers or everything English.

Well, at least this was a part of my mindset when I was a college student, when I couldn't use English as freely as I wished. Clumsiness in the use of the language darkened my mind and I felt myself miserable. Fortunately I was young and kept my head up to overcome the frustration. When my English came to an OK level, I realized I was much freer than before. I could argue, with confidence, not being capable of using English is nothing to feel ashamed of. However, this is a way of thinking which I was never able to adopt when I was clumsy in English.

Today, I am surrounded by colleagues who are not good at English. They say they admire my English, feel ashamed of themselves and ask me to teach them English. In such a case, I smile and just let it go. Never take it seriously. It is no use telling them not to feel ashamed, because they will not believe you. Kindly trying to help their English also won't help very much, because they will feel insulted. Beneath their smiling face does piled-up frustration exist and just poking it will cause hateful feeling to pour out.

If I look at my colleagues, they are mostly men in their 50s or 60s. They say they want to learn from me but I'm 100% sure they never mean to. Men in their 60s happy to learn from a woman younger than them are very very rare. They struggle in speaking English which doesn't make much sense and they murmur complaints about foreigners but don't feel inclined to practice English. I feel irritated every now and then - but I just let it go.

Talking about Taiji

 Another report regarding dolphin hunt in Taiji.  I've been wondering if Sea Shepherd is operating these days especially after the earthquake.  Apparently they are back in action as the Taiji people are back in the hunting.

 Several months ago, I saw the video footage by NHK reporting dolphin hunt in Taiji and persistent harassment by SS.  Basically, I was so sorry for people living in Taiji.  They were going through such a tough time.  They were caught between their longtime tradition and a new, foreign, unfamiliar idea in the most unwanted way.  What we shouldn't forget is this kind of conflict can occur to any of us.  Taiji people were unlucky, because their traditional way of living happend to be dolphins - not cattle, chickens or pigs.

 I have a mixed feeling towards dolphin hunt.  I think killing dolphins is harsh and will never want to see them being killed.  I feel the same way towards pigs and chickens.  I think killing pigs is harsh.  I will never want to see them being killed.

 I'm not teasing.

 Every species has the equal quality to each other.  Life is life.  One life is not either superior or inferior to the other.  I'm not sure if this idea is a Shinto thing or not, but there will be many Japanese who feel the same way as me.  Yes, we are brutal.  We cannot survive without killing other living creatures.  They die because of us, and it is quite possible that we are totally ignorant of it.  That's the reason we should be humble anytime.  In any moment, we may hurt someone or something without knowing it.

 A theory that dolphins are not allowed although pigs are looks just bizarre to me.  Sea shepherd forces such a funny theory on us and I feel very uncomfortable.  It's just like, I presume, the SS people feel very uncomfortable to watch dolphins get killed.  This is an issue of personal feeling.  All logics are attached later.  You search for a reason because you were somehow disturbed.

 To be honest, I don't think this problem will be solved in a way that everyone is happy with.  There is a huge gap between those who loathe dolphin hunt and people who back Taiji.  Since this is a sensitive issue which can disturb your feeling very badly, arguments can end up just hurting each other without rational discussions.

 In the video footage, a teenage girl in Taiji was distressed because her so-much-loved father's job was fiercely threatened.  But she didn't complain.  She was trying to find a way that both her father and Sea shepherd can get along.  Adults will never think such a thing.  She was very sweet and I was fond of her.  SS will not like a daughter of a dolphin killer, though.

 I can't help thinking that dolphin hunt will have no choice but go exterminated after the current generation of fishermen is gone.  Whales and dolphins used to be an important source of protein for Japanese people.  However, in modern times, we can go without eating those animals.  Even so, it's a longtime tradition in Taiji and I pay respect to it.  What I just hope is that the Taiji people will get out of dolphin hunt without losing dignity in their identity.  And hopefully that teenage girl will not give up the world.

After four years

You know what?  I've left this blog untouched for four years and only today I learned this striking fact that it still exists.  This is what I like about foreign blog services.  If it's Japan, no update for one year will get your blog deleted anytime by the hosting company.

It's been a bit too much work to do to write English, although it is the whole point of this blog.  I keep Japanese blogs somewhere else.  Interestingly I posted one of my entries in English very recently, so maybe I can transfer that article here.  Gosh, time changes.  The blogger.com used to be a bit dull but now it has so many beautiful templates.  I'm wondering if I can move all my entries here somehow...

Talking as Santa

Taking calls as Santa? For him, a good Claus

I don't remember whether I myself believed in Santa Claus or not as a child, but it (he?) is conprehensively believed among Japanese children too. And he is very popular.
This article, posted by LA Times, reports one gentleman in his 40s is volunteered to talk to children as St. Nicholas over the phone. Now he thinks pretending as Santa is more important than his work. 100 other volunteers are helping him as his stand-in.

Obviously this article is supposed to be a heart-warming story. I presume thie type of episode will be loved in Japan too. Parents are so keen to make their children keep the faith in Santa Claus and happy to do anything for that. But it seems to me just weird.

Is it only one of examples of American fun-loving nature? But it's not funny. I don't wanna be a cynic, but it's not. Santa Claus is fake. Children will know that one day. Where is the point to be desperate to extend the fantasy period as long as possible? We have much more to do for the next generation than just playing with fantasy.

Maybe it's not children. It is adults that need fantasy. They think they are helping children, but actually they are helping themselves.
Similar atmosphere prevails in Japan too. One day, a radish was found sticking out of the tarmeric road. People were touched by the radish's life power and adored it. The media reported about it everyday. The whole nation was appaled when it was broken by some evil person. It took an expert team at university to clone it. Dozens of cameras followed when the radish was taken to the laboratory by a city hall official. All was carried in a bizarre enthusiasm.

This case and the Santa topic look similar to me. Both are pathetic, immature and wimpish.

The good thing to know is, however, that we are not only one wimp in the world... We have a mate beyond the Pacific Ocean. :-(

Arrogant (but simple) young people and Japanese society

We've recently seen two similar incidents among Japanese celebrities. One is about an actress, Erika Sawajiri. The other is about Daiki Kameda, a teenager boxer.

Those 2 youngsters were talented, but far more outstanding because of their arrogant attitudes to the press. It is true that it was uncomfortable to see, but it's also true not too small part of the society was enjoying watching them behaving like that. Especially the media loved them. When Sawajiri or Kameda were just mocking them, they loved even that.

And then the 2 made a mistake almost at the same time, but in their respective field.
Sawajiri appeared for the premiere of her new movie just in a bad mood and only said "Well, whatever" to the questions from the interviewer. Kameda had a boxing match to challenge the champion, and lost. When he realised he was losing, he went panicked. He attacked the champion in an unadmitted, dangerous way and finally held the champion's body to throw him out of the ring. Some media reported desperate Kameda had tried to stick the champion in his eyes.

I found Kameda's case quite amusing, but the public turned to their enemy the next morning. Regarding Sawajiri, the media said she had betrayed the audience who came to the premiere and hurt co-stars' feelings as well. Since Kameda had declared he would commit Harakiri when he loses the match, people called for his commitment to be fulfilled. Japan Boxing Committee decided to suspend Daiki from any match for 12 months. Sawajiri didn't get any punishment officially, but has been almost ignored since then.

Naturally I like polite people better and Sawajiri and Kameda didn't come into my taste from the beginning, but I must say I feel more disgusted at the people who changed the attitude just overnight. They as adult praised and lured those kids to the ladder of fame, and one day, all of sudden, take the ladder away. It's a shameless thing isn't it?

TV talk shows are dealing with their cases from every different view only to lead to the same conclusion, which makes me sick. If you can't stand their rudeness, say so regardless of their success. If you don't dare do so, just shut up until the end. What is really annoying is not arrogant, simple-minded people like Sawajiri and Kameda, but those who are humble, weak, innocent and clever enough to wait for the right moment.

virtual moving

I used to like moving a lot. I moved 3 times during 8 years' stay in Tokyo and more than 5 times for 3 years in London. I don't mind all the hustles in moving, such as packing, getting a car etc. New people, new sights, new shops and new customs await me in the new place, which all refreshes me.

Now that I live with someone who doesn't necessarily agree with such an idea, it's not possible anymore to get on my feet whenever I like and just go away. It's sad, but probably that's what being mature means. This is my 6th blog - or 7th. Or 8th. Anyway, nowadays I'm moving a lot online. This way less annoys people around me I guess. I still breathe a hint of fresh air. Someday I will go anyway. I will walk out of the door, either online or off-line, into the new-born sunshine.